What do you truely believe??

OKAY!!! well this entry is gunna b an intresting one, since i truely do not know how to do this.......Its weird because life to me has lately been awfully confusing, not so much in a depressing and sad kinda confusing, buh more of an eciting adventure of confusion......not sure if that makes sense but if u noe ware am comin frum keep followin me..... lol

well basically something that jus keeps coming to mind these days is the question "what does it mean to be a christian????" TRUELY!!!! how do u answer that!!!! I REALLY CANT!!! its amazing I am jus puzzled, and im puzzled to the fact that am so puzzled!!! Now I have tried answering this in all the possible angles, and perspectives, buh still a strong solid answer I await....

Firstly!!! the very first thing I thought of was indiviuality, now I see it this way....If evry person is created differently than being a christian wud b well, different for evryone right?? or am i wrong??? Is it right that evry person sees christianity the way they want it to be??? Should there be things that have to be done??? initiations???? tests??? anything????? Is it right that christianity is even so open for anyone???? Because truely if u think about it that cud b a blame for the great conflicts between this one religion of christianity.....Because there is so much freedom, people feel the need to create something new evrytime something old does not cut it for that person.....SOOOO again I ask is it right that we have such an open religion???? so goin bak to the question, is it right that we have so many different answers for just one question??? Because to be a christian, must have a set definition does it not???

Next!!! I get into the whole faith thing, which soon leads to the "actions"....me and jesse talked bout this one for a while before realizing, this is a very touchy subject.....lol...this part will also b broken into parts .....

So here it goes.....does christianity mean belivevin in GOd, in Jesus????? then again wat is faith???? is it the belief in something???? well I looked up faith and on dictionary.com it has many definitions....BUT!!! this was my favourite chek this out :  

often Faith Christianity. The theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God's will.

WAT?!?!??!! Christianity is in the definition of faith!!!! thats crazeeee!!!! SO NOW OF CORSE FAITH IS APARTA THE DEFINITION!!!! Christianity cant get apart from faith it even says it in the dictionary!!!! BUT!!!! it also says a SECURE belief in GOd......so WAIT!!! if our beliefs are not always as secure, does that mean I as a person have become that much less of a christian????? Because after all christianity is the belief in god....and the belief in god can onli be decribed as faith, so without faith is there no christianity?????then again lets look up christian....shall we

Professing belief in Jesus as Christ or following the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus

WAIT A MINUTE!!! okay okay, so bein a Christian is believing in CHrist, and following the religion (a word that i shiver at) that follows the life of Jesus.......OKAY!!! so here it is the faith!!! "Believing in Jesus CHrist" BUT WAIT!!!! look here, theres another part!!!! "following the religion...." so here it is!!!! the action!!!! now.....how exactly do we do this??? how is that we act as a "christian".....welll!!!! all my life I have been taught the right ways, the ways of the church, the good morals, and the list goes on!!! BUT!!!! are these the things that makes us a good christian???? From serving in ministry as a musician, preacher, pastor, usher, listenr, prayer, do these things make u a CHristian??? does do kind things for other people (there is a definition for christian that says "Showing a loving concern for others; humane.") buh is this wat makes us christians?????? NOOOOOO WAIIIITTTT!!!! "It is not by our actions buh by our faith", "walk by faith, no by sight".....sooo this cant be it, these things that we do (church, youth group, small groups) they cant be wat makes us christians!!!! THEY JUST CANT!!!! ITS THE FAITH!!!! believing in God, but again faith without actions is dead so is it even possible to hav eone without the other????

This is wat leads me to my last point, a point jesse kinda put in my mind....WHAT DO WE BELIEVE????? Sure I noe the morals of the church buh is that truely wat I believe???? infact how do i even noe wat I believe????what defines a belief??? let us look it up.....

To have firm faith

okay, okay!!! there it is again, faith!!!! BUT again faith without deeds is dead, so if we do not fullfill these beliefs how is that we are believing that????If we KNOW at the bak of our minds the good things to do, buh at the same time we do the bad things what are we believing??? are we styll beliving the good, or bad?? can there b a mid point???? Because after all faith without deeds is dead, annd if believing is having faith, then believing must b a combonation of both faith and actions, because after all is tha tno wat our "religion" is all about????

So again I ask, wat does it mean to be a christian??? You noe wat? I think i may not ever know the answer, because us humans cannot comprehend the power of god, amen? SOooooo who are we to even put a name on ourselves that sets us apart????? Buh WAIT!!!! lookin even past the whole name thing......what is it truely that u believe???? and remember believing is the faith with deeds......apart from even being called a christian, why is that u do the things u do????why is that u feel bad aobut something u do that u noe is not the right thing to do???? why is that u feel obligated to come to church evry weekend/??? why is that we feel liek we need to keep AYM alive???? WHY???? its simple it is because we want to fulfill the name of being a christian.....again I quote dictionary.com for the definition for christian

Professing belief in Jesus as Christ or following the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus

SOOOOOO.....u gotta have ur belief, u gotta have ur actions (follow jesus).....put those together u got faith.....now what does it mean to be a christian??? why is that we do the things we do??? why live the hard christian life??? it is because we have faith in a higher power, a faith that moves mountains, a faith that not only changes our lives on earth buh our lives throughout eternity....why do we show our kindness towards others??? it is because we are christians (although jus a name) we are to have faith and FOLLOW christ the kindessss fo them alll......and lastly, what is christianity, christianity continues to b a name, a religion, a faith, a type of love, an action, a belief......but to me christianity can only be the whole thing, it cant b just the faith, or just the action, or jus the belief, it jus cant!!!!! Soooo if i were to truely answer the quesiton I wud have to say that I am not yet the "christian" that I want to be...and what christian is that????? the only thype there shud b, the one that believe in christ and follows him as welll.....of course life will take me through bumps and strongholds, and tests.....but will I let that stop me??? NOOO because my belief for a higher calling give me hope, a hope that can onli lead to god, a christ, a saviour, and a life worth living, a life devoted to fully believe and follow

Sooooooo if u've read this far, i mus applaude u......cuz well i wudnt of read this far....lol....this actually wasnt really suppose to b put up buh it really did help me...lol....i want feed bak though, as i sed am not yet a perfect christian and until then i will keep askin wat it means to be a christian, al though the quesiton will always come bak the same, believe and follow, sooo pleeeeez give me something, tell me wat u think answer the question, call me, email me, leave a message, do nething!!!!REVZ OUT!!!!!

1luv, 1truth, 1God

Am I still a Christian?

Almost all my life I have lived a life following the expectations of those around me... I've always been the one to be strong, the one who knows what to say when to say it, this goes for in church and out, but I really examined my actions and I really felt that my life had become soooo according to people's expectations that my own desires had been over shadowed...(yes i noe its very opposite to my las entry buh if u noe wheere am comin frum God has jus put me through the craziest rollar coaster ever!!!). For many of you readin this you guys prolly don't know where I'm coming from because although I said I would stop isolating myself in my last entry God completly turned me the other way....Over and over again I can literally see tests infront of me by God, whther it be a girl, a hater, school, and so many other decisions that seem to just hit me one after another (I'm not done with these tests they are styll coming at me)...But as time went and this whole living for other's expectations hit me I really turned away from God (although I know for a fact that he did not turn on me because I really did feel his presence styll)...I did this thinking its the "REAL" me... At first I totally thought to myself, i want to feel how non christians feel, how do u live a life without a purpose without knowing why you are on earth...it jus amazes me how millions out there live a life not even knowing why or what they are living for..(and at the time I thought this was my real...i noe i noe is weird buh lookin bak i really did feel this way)..So here I stood in my life....and although I did not realize I really think I did stray away from the "Christian Life" matta fact there was a point where I honestly thought to myself am I really a christian? something I keep askin myself but don't seem to realize how I can BE a christian....so newaz it didnt really hit me until one day I was playin guitar in my room, and I realized something!!!I was playin more cecular songs than christian songs!!!learnin more songs to play for gurls thatn for GOd....And it was at that point where I was jus like....WOAH!!! wat happened to my life....I had turned my bak on God : did not pray, didn't talk about god to my friends (something i used to do at leas a little), I didnt play my normal christian songs on guitar, didnt have quiet time...its weird!!! I jus stopped all this stuff without even realizing....PLUS!!!.....The good influences in my life the people who truely made me grow as a christian: one thing i stopped doing was calling ppl up....and to tell u the truth I really feel like jus by stopping that, it really changed alot in my life, as in makin decisions, who i wud go to for questions, its jus alot of things that i cud have a "Godly" influence on suddenly turns really cecular.....So again I ask myself, am i truely a Christian?....Yes I go to church evry sunday but am I a Christian?....Yes I take notes wen I hear sermons but am I a Christian?....okay okay I raise ma hands up and close my eyes during praise and worship BUT...Am I a Christian? I reallly believe for these past few months I really havent been a great Christian if not a Christian at all.....God had pretty much been cut out of my life (even though again I say I styll felt his presence) the key factor that makes a person a Christian or not....Now dont get me rong, life was not krap, matta fact life was amazingly fun, a nd great.....I made my trax, had ma times wit gurls, I had great times wit friends (made alota beef buh surprizeingly alot of ppl always backed me up, even ppl I wudnt normally think were tight wit me), my scholl marks were amazing, teachers luved me, life was truely crazeee, it was great.....BUT again here I am writting this entry asking myself am I a Christian?..My answer is yet to be found, at times i can say am not, at times i am, does that make me a hipocrite???....Now the more imortant question is wit such a great life outside of God, why is it that i keep crawlin back?? well, das for GOd to know and me to find out!!! and das Revz fer u ppl, by the way dun b afraid to call me up and see how am doin cuz i think am gunna need some accountability on this whole christian life thing....REVZ OUT!!! 

PS. People live life witout a purpose because they see how easy it is, they see how they can live life and die, witout worrying, they dont want the truth cuz they think they dont need it its jus easier that way....Its so dilusional buh so true, the Christian Life is so hard to live so why live it? 

WOOAHH!!! is been a while ppl.....buh am feelin gewd right now mayn....iight well heres the deel wit me.....lately I have kinda been tryna keep to myself (not that am always the most open person) but these few weeks I have been purposely avoiding alot if not any contact from people except well my rap crew (been makin alot of trax).....buh WHY u ask?? why stay away from talkin to ppl on msn?? (wen i say talk i mean like deeply ya noe like not hi bye kinda talk) why stop callin ppl up? (I even stopped callin jesse whom i call pretty much evry week) why stopp askin ppl bout their spiritual life?? WHY?????.......well i've been praying and well, thats exactly the thing god wanted me to do......I noe it seems unlikely, or kinda stupid to jus forget other ppl buh its something i had to truely prove to myself......after examining myself I kinda felt something weird.....see am the type of guy whos always kool.....calm collective, never panic kinda guy....is jus who i am.....i dont show weekness, i dont show stronghold......i unno is jus in my nature sometimes......BUTT the thing is i was at the point in my life where i truely felt the way i was acting.....during times of praise and worship i gave it my all......during writtin my trax i gave it my all.....evrything i did I GAVE IT MY ALL.....i noe is kinda weird buh God gave me evrything i have and for me to waste it, i'd b a fool.......BUUUUTT the one thing i wanted to make sure for myself is that it wasn't other ppl that was determining this.....it wasnt the aym services that made my relationship wit god so strong...that it wasnt talkin to ppl that kept me goin....and sooo I completly isolated myself from the world.....i fasted lunch and well from there i jus searched for god......after all this I have come to the conclusion that my willingness to love god no matter what, has been genuine!!! YES!!! i am soooo glad!!! because even wit circumstances all around me crumbling I saw a light......infact to tell u the truth in the beginin of all this I cudnt take it......i really thought i was fake....i felt sooo like i've been a hipocrite all this time.....buh time passed and as aym began to well i guess fall to pieces (man alot of ppl bad mouthing aym these days eh?) I continued to stay strong, to stay firm, to love god, and continue to jus stay still in the presence of a GREAT GOD......I have survived these few weeks without needing the effects of others around me (dont get me rong ppl are important, this was jus a test for myself)......ANNDDDD by the way am not bein prideful or nething am tryna encourage you guys.........you DONT need something likea  church service to determine how u feel inside......ppl around u will always have different feelings, there will b ppl who aren't in a great point of life and others that will b....BUTT its your choice how these ppl effect you....Remember if two opposites clash there has to b a change in one of them.....the question is who will b doin the changeing? you choose....REVZ OUT!

ps. mixtape comin out soon "Returna the Reverend"

PICTURE THIS......a baby is born with God right by his side.....this kid goes through life completly having God with him day in day out....from the childhodd moments up until he begins ministry on the streets.....now this same man is awaitin his death.....and as he stands in death row awaiting his future..... he trembles.........It was not the fear that he was going to lose his life because he already went through a beating and knows that his body is nothing to be cherished.......It was not a fear that he was leaving his friends and family because his mother was right by him as he died and all but one friend was there as well.....It wasn't even the fear that his spirit would go to the wrong place because he knew that by faith he will end up in heaven.....no.......It was the fear of losing the one thing that he had all his life....the one thing that was eternally alive with in him for all to see....the one thing that set him apart from any other man....It was that bond with God....the everlasting bond that had no breaks.....not even for a second did he feel an emptiness because all his life he felt God fill it....BUT......it was that same time that our sins had been forgiven.....that our hell-promised souls were promised a future of eternal love......a future of paradise.....a future of heavenly precense.....How would you feel if after 30 years of feeling the love of God you realized that you had to feel a few moments of the evil??........How would you feel if after 30 years of goodness and love you realized you had to feel that little bit of sin and hatred.....just so that others can feel how you felt for those 30 years....HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?!?!?!........See all of Jesus' life he felt no emptiness....but he gave that up so that we can feel the the wholeness of God's love........Jesus had seen the face of God!!!! He knew who God was!!!!He was literally tight wit GOD!!!! But for those few moments he had to forget about God........HE HAD TO GIVE UP THE ONE THING THAT GAVE HIM HOPE AND LOVE AND GRACE AND FAITH!!!!The one thing that gave him happiness.......FEEL the pain.....feeel how he wud feel......JESUS took the pain and not the physical because that was nothing for him for his body was temporary.....BUT WHEN HE TOOK THE PAIN SPIRITUALLY......the eternal was taken away from him.......realize what has happened.....realize the eternal....realize the sacrafice that has been made.....our lives were not cheep